Slang na gunting

iba ang style ng english na nasanay na tayo sa pinas
at english dito
medyo conscious ako the whole day about intonation
and how i articulate things
especially na madalas akong matawa sa sarili ko
kapagnagkukwentuhan kami ng mga pinsan ni misis
matigas daw ang accent
parang…

kah-meh-rah sa atin
at kam-rah sa kanila

ayh dohnt noe sa atin
ayh dunno sa kanila

about sa atin
abowd sa kanila

habang asa check up kanina eh sinubukan kong
magislang-islangan para masanay lang ba

nagtataas din ako ng kilay minsan baka may
effect ganuon kasi nakikita ko sa mga
prens ko sa faces, padis timog (sa loob ah) at jaloux discothequeofalltime

eh kailangan kong gupitin ang kumpol ng bib ng bata para magamit

badong: haay, gudefternun.
receptionist: hellow
badong: du yu hev zeezzoors?
receptionist: huwat?! wut gevs yu the aydeear thet i hev zeezzoors? WUT DU YU WENHT WUD MY ZEEZOORS IF EYE HEV ENY?!?! HUH?!!
badong: oh, aym sowry, adjust nid two kaht
receptionist: ohh .. OHHH … i thawt zeezztoorrs … eye enly hev broodrs


tuyong bawang

kahapon naman eh nautusan akong bumili ng bawang, kamatis at laurel
dito ko hustong namimiss ang pinas
ala kasing palengke dito na pwede ka bumili ng patingi tingi
pucha isang bawang lang kailangan ko eh isang 5 nakanet ang binigay
paguwi ko dito sa bahay eh pinapabalik sakin ng lola ang mga bawang
tuyo na daw at maski an-an eh di na kayang gamutin sa katuyuan

kaya yun, balik sa ministop dito na ang pangalan eh hasty market

badong: hi, i’d like to replace this garlic i bought awhile ago
cashier: wear’dyubye-it?
badong: oh, here of course
cashier: yeah i know of course, whear’dyubyet-it?
badong: hmmm
cashier: how long ago?
badong: oh, twenty ago


Return Call

As I briefly mentioned awhile back, libre ang pagpapagamot dito sa canada
as long as you have your healthcard
err.. ako eh wala pa, so bawal magkasakit.
a month and a half
na lang eh pwede na akong magavail
actually i can go with the short term insurance thing or something
that would get me by for three months kaso, kailan ba ko
last nagkasakit or naaccident? (keith kailan nga ba? hehehe)

aside from the medicines and hospitalization there’re a lot of
follow up apointment and check up for the mother and the baby
kaya naman sunod sunod rin ang appointment sa family doctor, sa nurse,
sa clinic that hosts training sessions for new mothers

nakabook kami ngayon pero we had to move it (since kakagaling lang ulit sa hospital
ng bata .. it’s another story)

misis: pakitawagan mo nga iyung region of peel para magparesked tayo
badong: oks
misis: 2 sasagot sayo iyung una sabihin mo na resked tayo tapos isa pa ulit
badong: ok
dials ..
voice receiver1: welcome to region of peel … if you wish to talk to an operator please hold the line
operator1: hi, thank you for calling the region of peel, how may i help you
badong: umm, this is regarding our appointment for the breast feeding workshop
operator1: are you do you have an appointment or would you like an appointment
badong: umm .. we’d like to move ours, we already have a schedule
operator1: ok, i’ll transfer your call
badong: thanks
voice receiver2: thank you for calling the center for breast feeding …
misis: pang ilang operator na ba yan?
badong: huh?
misis: pang ilang operator na yan kamo?
badong: pangalawa na
voice receiver2: … thank you
misis: ahhh, sabihin mo sa friday ah
badong: oks
after 2 minutes
badong: tagal ah, baka natutulog pa sa pancitan
misis: honga, or baka na number 2
badong: hahaha, matagal yon, walang tabo dito eh, hahahahaha
after 2 minutes
badong: tawag na nga lang ulit mamaya

after 5 minutes
operator1: hi, thank you for calling the region of peel, how may i help you
badong: i was the one who called awhile ago, kindly transfer me to the breast feeding center
operator1: ok, please hold
voice receiver2: thank you for calling the center for breast feeding. Kindly leave your name, contact number and purpose after the tone and a coordinator specific to your need will you call you as soon as possible. Press pound sign or hang up once you’re done. Thank you
*biglang baba ng phone*
badong to misis: errr … gaano katagal tayo nagusap kanina?


tanong

mga binatong tanong ng daemon frost

1. recovered ka na ba? or still in shock?
– recovered na sa operation
– di pa nakakarecover sa tulog
– in shock pa rin

2. ano feeling nung pinutol mo umbilical cord?
– parang ramdam mo or parang daliri mo iyung ginugupit mo

3. minura ka ba ni misis habang umiire?
– hindi, pagkatapos na ako minura. para mas malutong

4. sino iyung mama na nagsasalita sa bidyo?
– cameraman, ankol

5. nag celebrate na ba ang mga kapitbahay mo sa caloocan?
– hindi pa. in shock pa rin sila na umalis ako ng di nagpapaalam eh.
kala kasi nila nagministop lang ako eh

6. anong lasa nung whiskey? hula ko kasi ang sagwa nun kasi pang mama yun
– men masarap sya parang pawis ng arabo, lagyan mo lang ng maraming coke at yelo lasang coke na


project delivery

lumabas na last week ang aming bagong project ni misis
2700 grams
18 in
gabrielle maya

we were expecting a boy since that was what turned out in the
ultrasound
pati lahat ng pamahiin eh nagsasabing lalake
swelling, puppps, aura, lorna at si fe

malabo rin namang nagkapalit, since ibang iba ang process
ng pangananak dito at sa pinas

sa pinas usually eh nakatambay lang iyung mga tatay sa labas
kung malakas ang loob eh anduon sa operating room
kung di pa hinihimatay eh malamang nagtatake ng pictures, video o kaya
eh banggaan ng mura ng asawa

dito, they make parents involved in the whole process as much as possible
kaya hindi lang ako saksi kundi ginawang assistant ng nars
i was there as a delivery coach, tigawahak ng binti,
hanggang sa pagputol ng umbilical cord.

kaya siguro libre panganganak dito, hehehe.
eniweys, it’s a really good experience.
in a way, us as a parent feels not only as a source of life
but also part of delivering it in the real world

i’ll post some pictures once i have them downloaded
in the meantime


Batian in practice

habang asa toronto eh naisipan kong magpunta sa library
medyo long walk galing sa opisina ni misis (habang inaantay ko sya)
para kang galing sa pacific star na nagpunta ng glorietta
kumanan sa mcdo greenbelt tapos naisipang may baon ka pala
kaya bumalik ng pacific star
on the way to the library

indianlookingguy: hi friend, goodafternoon
badong: hi goodafternoon to you too
medyo napangiti, parang sinabihan ako ng kaibigan dibidi
indianlookingguy: i need some help mahn
badong: why so?
indianlookingguy: i’m kinda late going to the office and i was wondering if you have a token for the train
badong: i’m sorry but i don’t really carry coins
indianlookingguy: no no, i’m not asking for money, i’m just wondering if you have a token for the train
badong: oh, i’m not from here sorry, it’s with my wife

sabay lakad papaalis
pagkakanan ko naman after a few blocks eh
swinerte na naman at nilapitan ng russian looking dude

russiandude: hi friend
badong: suuri … nohh ingglees


Batian

maraming mabait dito sa Canada
medyo disoriented kasi lahat ng tao dito
pagkanakasalubong eh bumabati ng goodmorning or goodafternoon
wala pa namang bumabati sakin ng goodnight

sa pinas eh pagkamayroon kang nakitang kakilala
or namumukhaan mo lang eh babatiin mo kagad ng
“oi”, or tango papataas lang
maski di mo alam ang pangalan
maski parang naging classmate mo lang yon
sa isang elective na di mo naman pinapasukan
or syota ng pinsan ng kachat mo na nakilala nya sa paradise
basta namumukhaan mo